This is the first of at least three discussions all around asking “Why am I nearly panicked with anxiety? Have I lost the loving care of God?”

The whole of this discussion has been a long-term exploration of scripture and the use of prayer and meditation on the scriptures brought to mind. It is important to accept that the discussion here is not simple and entertaining, nor is it meant to be a point of praise worship. There have been many many powerful influencers of those who follow the way who have reached a point of struggle with their loss, with their sense of powerlessness. Job 29:2 “O that I could be as I was in the months now gone, in the days when God watched over me…”

This passage (above) was illuminating. Frankly, it was necessary to face a great deal of loss – all those people who were a temporal part of my identity, a needed part of my well-being. Job again (29:4-5) “Just as I was in my most productive time, when God’s intimate friendship was experienced in my tent, when the Almighty was still with me, and my children were around me;”

The process of loss of temporal identity can destabilize and undermine emotional control. At those times, a tension within can spiral to anxiety or anger, a frantic effort to find a way to control. Psalm 55:6 “Oh that I had wings like a dove! For then would I fly away and be at rest!” It was extremely important that the emotional outcry modeled so strongly in scripture is not just permitted, it is modelled in great detail and passion. Stoic behavior is contrary to the provisions God gives us.

There are a number of things to consider that will follow. For now: Cast all your cares on him, for He cares for you. The text is clear; you are not alone, and you are not abandoned. A major tool here is to meditate both day and night upon God’s law. (Psalm 1).

So: Meditate on Psalm 1.

• Who are you walking with?
  • Are they leading you to righteousness and the agape of all others?
• Who are you identifying (standing with)?
  • Are they giving you an identity of self that is set apart for God’s work?
• Who are you sitting with?
  • Are they spending energy and time tearing down people with crude language and dishonorable selfishness/clever snarky humor?